Most of us have heard that the road to a happy life and a flourishing career is "doing what you love." It's a nice idea. It motivates us.
However, it also gives us unrealistic expectations. We assume that if we get a job in an industry we like, everything else will sort itself out. We'll feel motivated every day, experience job satisfaction, get along with our coworkers, and even enjoy our long commute.
But then we get a job we like and the reality hits us: the job is monotonous, we have a terrible boss, we have coworkers we can't stand, the commute is dreadful and there are parts of the job that we dislike.
Or perhaps we are lucky enough to work for ourselves, so we don't have to deal with terrible bosses or long commutes but realize the pressures of the job are more than we expected.
We find ourselves struggling to get motivated every day. Our goals seem difficult to reach, and we're not as happy as we thought we would be.
The idea of doing what you love has a few fundamental flaws:
It does not acknowledge that regardless of the career we have, there will always be parts of the job we like and parts that we don't.
Say, for example, that you become an engineer because it's something you're passionate about. You'll still undoubtedly run into parts of the job that you find unpleasant.
For example, you may like the hands-on tasks but hate documentation or research duties. Just because you like the career, does not automatically mean that you will love everything you're expected to do at work.
It assumes that positive emotions are consistent and predictable.
When you first start a career you like, you may have an initial burst of motivation and enjoyment. But as the days turn into weeks and the weeks into years, the monotony sets in.
You no longer want to get up in the morning, and the passion you once had has faded.
That's the thing about human emotion: they're kinda fickle. If you think about the entirety of your life, has there ever been a time when you felt a strong emotion, whether positive or negative, and it maintained the same intensity for the rest of your life?
Positive emotions are most reliable when something is new and shiny, but as work becomes an everyday part of your life you'll need more than passion to see you through.
It does not recognize that you can like something as a hobby but not as a job.
This is a big one. There is pervasive messaging that your job should feel like a hobby and, consequently, that you can turn your hobby into a job.
This can certainly work, but we need to acknowledge the important differences between jobs and hobbies.
Hobbies usually don't entail a boss breathing down your neck, expectations to pay bills, deadlines, or people relying on you for their livelihood. That's why they're hobbies: they're lighthearted and free.
Once your hobby turns into a job, it's not a hobby anymore. You need to be prepared to meet the expectations that come with work otherwise it most certainly won't feel like a hobby.
It does not recognize that doing what you love is a privilege.
There are many concerns that we need to think about when choosing a career. Enjoyment is one of them but there are also practical concerns like salary, location, and benefits.
I'm sure that many have had the experience when they were younger of telling a parent or teacher about a career they wanted to pursue only to be met with the quip, "But how is that going to pay the bills?"
Not to rain on anyone's parade, but they had a point. Not everyone comes from a background that ensures they have a safety net if their career plans don't work out.
Moreover, some people have to measure their choices with the knowledge that they have dependents such as children or elderly parents.
I'm not saying this to be a wet blanket but rather to be pragmatic.
It does not recognize that people's preferences change.
There's an idea that if you love something, you'll always love it, and if you hate something you'll always hate it. However, it's entirely possible to start out enjoying something and then grow to dislike it or vice versa.
Continuous exposure could either breed monotony and dislike or it could breed familiarity and comfort.
Alternatives to doing what you love
If doing what we love is not necessarily the most practical option then what should we do:
Manage your expectations:
A person who doesn't necessarily like the industry they’re in but walked in with realistic expectations will fair better than one who landed a dream job but had poor expectations.
Be prepared:
Prepare yourself for the challenges of work life that everyone has to face regardless of their job. Improve your time management skills, communication skills, financial management, habit building, emotional regulation, and negotiation skills.
Inject what you love into what you do:
Say, for example, you wanted to be an artist but for one reason or another you landed in engineering.
You can inject your love for art into your job by opting for a branch of the field that deals with design (like design engineering or becoming a CAD technician) or requires creativity (like research and development or maintenance). You may not be doing what you love, but you can still find a way to put what you love into what you do.
Practice gratitude:
You may not be exactly where you want to be in life but that's okay. If you’re managing to put food on the table then you're doing great in my book.
Rather than obsessing over what you don't have you could actively try to appreciate what you do have.
Perhaps you’re not in an industry you love but you're lucky enough to make ends meet, have an understanding boss, have friendly coworkers, have a short commute, and so on.
Make a daily routine to write down everything that you're grateful for and practical ways that you could make your life even better.
Expect change:
It's important to be a dynamic person. The one thing you can expect is that everything changes. You could lose your job, be made redundant by technology, get promoted, transfer into a different department, get a different job or find yourself in a different industry. Over time anything could happen.
Conclusion
Doing what you love is a nice idea, but is often not pragmatic. Alternatively, you could work on improving yourself, practicing gratitude, injecting what you love into what you do, and expecting change.
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